Sunday 7th January 07, 12.16 pm

Alreet, peeples. How the fack goes it? A very happy new year to you all.

Not much to report from Chez Buffet, really. Had a pretty good Christmas. Was just at home with the family n that. Was nice to have a few days off work too. Ate far too much, mind. The good news is I started my “OMFG I’VE GOTTA GET BACK IN SHAPE FOR JUNE” diet on the 1st, and I’m sticking to it and so far, so good. Lost a few pounds already. Probably down the back of the sofa!”£ Etc.

Off to Kos again in June with my mates Dean, Wayne and his wife, Tash. Really up for that. We all get on real good, so it should be a chuckle. But before that I’m off for a weekend in Paris with a girl mate, so that should be grand too. Thats planned for the start of June, and I’m currently trying to work out the best places to visit/stay/drink in, so please throw me a cheeky email if you can be of any help, cheers.

New year’s resolutions, then.

1. Get back in shape.
2. Have a great time and laff a lot.
3. Slurp more voddy than beer as it doesn’t give me any sodding hangovers.
4. Continue and finish this 100 singles list.
5. More shagging, cheers.
6. Less wanking, cheers.

Been reading this today and yesterday:

Seems alreet so far. I’m a hoooooge Viz fan, I find it fucking hilarious, so this is a real joy to read. It's 4 snoobs on Play.com, at ze moment.

Anyway, better shoot. Take care y’all, and speak to you cheekies soon!

Oh yeah, nearly forgot. Not that many of you will care maybe, but I've added a list of everything on my Ipod here. So if you need any of these tunes or just wanna laugh at the inclusion of Whigfield and Scatman John, then give me a bell or email or summat else really technical and exciting-sounding.

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Sunday 17th December 06, 6.58 pm

(Both lists are in no real order of preference, just my favourites in a random order. Except choice No.1 on both lists).

The Buffet's Top 10 TV Of 2006

1. Prison Break - Thrilling. Utterly utterly thrilling telly. Outshone everything else with fast-paced, involving episodes with more twists than your Mum's knick-knicks.

2. The Sopranos - How will it all end? Horribly, judging by these superbly dark opening episodes of the greatest TV show in history's final season.
3. Celebrity Big Brother - Barrymore, Galloway, Burns. Nowt else to say really, ay?
4. Lost - Nowhere near as fast-paced as Prison Break, nowhere near as touching or disturbing as The Sopranos, yet Lost still shows signs of life yet.
5. Curb Your Enthusiasm - Arguably the weakest season yet from Mr David, but but by my calculator that still makes it roughly 32 times better than any other modern comedy.
6. Dragon’s Den - I don't really know why I love this so, but fuck me, I really do.
7. The Royle Family - Proof that sometimes comebacks are a good idea. Beautiful, funny, tinged in nostalgia, stunning performances. As great as ever, then.
8. The Apprentice - See Dragon's Den. Shouldn't be so enjoyable if you actually think about it, yet it's strangely completely unmissable.
9. Love Island - Paul Danan, Sophie Anderton, that blonde git wot used to be in Hollyoaks smashing up the camera-room and kicking things. A comedy goldmine.
10. Deal Or No Deal - Talking of comebacks...

The Buffet's Top 10 Films Of 2006

1. Grizzly Man - Touching. You'll never get your head round his way of thinking in a million sodding years, but what a wonderful document of one man's passion for life.

2. United 93 - Was it too soon? Maybe, but this was one deeply involving & moving film.
3. Walk The Line - Excellent performances, decent screenplay, and Witherspoon in her pants. Ah, go on then.
4. Superman Returns - Good to see the daft, slick-haired swine back, innit?
5. The Hills Have Eyes - Axes. Nutters. A caravan. It only needed Witherspoon in her pants, really.
6. Snakes On A Plane - Sod the hype, this was hilarity itself.
7. Hard Candy - Do you still check to see if they're down there every half-hour? Aye, me too.
8. Click - This actually made me weep like a big frilly woofter. It's a bit throwaway, but it got me, I must say.
9. Slither - Dafter than your Dad on the pull last Friday night, but fuck me, enjoyable3000 it was.
10. Clerks II - I've decided comebacks are now officially a really good idea. Where's me shellsuits at?

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Saturday 9th December 06, 12.25 pm

21.

Lucky Soul – Lips Are Unhappy

I first heard aboot this tune through a mate on a message-board, when he upped it as part of a cheeky compilation he had whopped together. So cheers, Jan.

Fuck me, this is great. Its like a long-lost soul-swinger from the 60’s that’s been found in a sparkly velvet-lined box in the back of a cupboard and salvaged for future generations.

Beautiful melody, lubbly light production, soaring gorgeous vocals.

An absolute belter, Ted.

Let this classic into your life, you'll love me (or Jan) for it!

http://download.yousendit.com/D10BE30D540D141D

22.

Carole King – It's Too Late

Earlier in this list, I added “Heartbreaker” by Dionne Warwick for two reasons.

1. It was a tune that reminded me of my childhood as my Dad loved it and by way of him playing it I had been introduced to it at an early age, and it had been completely ingrained in my consciousness ever since.

and

2. I believed it was a great, great tune.

The same applies here.

My Dad told me years ago that his all-time favourite album was “Tapestry” by Carole King. Years later, once I had the ways and means of trying out new or unheard music without actually paying for it (I.E. ver Internet), I decided to nab it and see what the fuss was about.

While overall the record didn’t do much for me, this tune deffo did. In fact, it completely blew me away.

I’m happy to go down on record, here and now, as saying this is one of the greatest tunes ever written, or indeed, ever will be written.

Impossibly moving, unstoppably lovely.

http://download.yousendit.com/E878E7F51B60DF2C

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Wednesday 6th December 06, 9.32 pm

Here would be The Buffet's Top 30 Tunes Of 2006, then.

I dunno why so many people are down on the music released this year, I thought there was loads of great stuff knocking aboot!

Will up the album list soon. Oooh, ain't you fucking wet thinking aboot it, you dirties!"£

(In no real order of preference, as ever, just my favourites in a random order. Except choice No.1, which is my absolute favourite tune of the year, bar none)

1. Peter Bjorn and John – Young Folks

http://www.sendspace.com/file/lca4qi

2. Lucky Soul – Lips Are Unhappy
3. Regina Spektor – Better
4. Delays – Valentine
5. New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream
6. Basement Jaxx – Take Me Back To Your House
7. The Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes
8. Dirty Pretty Things - You Fucking Love It
9. Giant Drag – Kevin Is Gay
10. Cansei de Ser Sexy - Alcohol
11. Kasabian -Empire                                                                                                   12. Kelis - I Don’t Think So
13. James Dean Bradfield - Still A Long Way To Go
14. Chicane - Stoned In Love
15. Nelly Furtado - Maneater
16. The Strokes – Juicebox
17. Bob Sinclar - Love Generation
18. Shakira - Hips Don’t Lie
19. Lily Allen - Friday Night
20. The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
21. The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Song
22. Loveninjas - Keep Your Love                                                                           23. Cerys Matthews - Open Road
24. Jarvis Cocker - Cunts Are Running The World
25. The Charlatans - Muddy Ground
26. Jim Noir - The Key Of C
27. The Streets - Never Went To Church
28. The Long Blondes - Once And Never Again
29. Rihanna - SOS
30. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

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Saturday 2nd December 06, 2.47 pm

On with the Buffet Top 100 Singles, then.

19.

Girls Aloud - Biology

Chart position: #4

Oh sod orf you snobby cunty, it’s great. Pop music as pop music should be. Uptempo, vibrant, fun. The complete opposite of the pissy-panted likes of KT Tunstall and Dido, then.

Everything about this is Johnny Ace. From the instant, banging opening, to the nonsensical lyrics, to even The Ginger One getting to join in.

Oh, and it's better than anything the Spice Girls ever did. Yeah, even Viva Forever, Jeff.

Immense3000.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/xpgfuk

20.

The Concretes - You Can’t Hurry Love

Oh yes, yes, yes. This is what I’m talking aboot. This is a prime example in my opinion of a great, short, catchy, fun single that gets in, gets out, and doesn’t outstay its welcome by a single second.

The Concretes never came close to topping this, but then, I don’t think many bands would stand a chance. Poppy perfection with beautiful, rousing crescendos that'd get even your Mum smiling. No, really.

A sexy wee belter, innit.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/olrg5l

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Saturday 25th November 06, 7.40 pm

Alreet party-ploppers! Long time no see/read/hear/whatever the fuck, and I’m sorry you rotters. For those of you who don’t know, I started a new job about 6 weeks ago and have been really busy ever since so don’t really get much time to get online lately.

It’s going well (I think), and I enjoy the work and the people there seem fair enough. It’s in a windings company so I solder stuff together and test components an that. Its all pretty straightforward and not too taxing so I’m enjoying it at the moment. Maybe cos its all still new eh!

Top 100 Singles is deffo continuing, cheers to those who have asked about it during this recent downtime. I’m hoping to blast through them now I’m not so knackered all the time and I can actually think when I get home. Which is nice!

Also, I’ll be doing this year’s Buffet Top Tens of stuff I’ve enjoyed this year. Films, music, TV etc. so hoping to get that up sometime in the next few entries too.

Cheers, and please get your sexy arses back here for more inane garglings that’ll appear over the next few days.

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